My Ideal Man, *cough cough* Shemar Moore

Just to let you all know I’m being extra cliché right now. I’m sitting outside of my regular Starbucks listening to Etta James and writing my February blog post. Honestly Etta is probably the best kind of artist to be listening to while I write this because honey knows about love. Yes people I am continuing on my path of the clichéd writer because during the month of February I will be writing about love. You all know that’s my favorite subject anyways so I don’t know why you guys would have expected anything different. I’d like to say my scenery is as equally romantic as the scene I’m about to set up for you but, alas I’m across the street form the ABC Liquor store that is caddy corner to the Shell Station…not exactly the French Riviera I know but, hey I’m working with what I’ve got.

            So love, you people have got some messed up ideas of that word let me tell you. This blog post is called my ideal man. It’s not because I’m going to sit here and list all of the qualities my life-long partner must have to begin the race for my heart (although if you want to apply…haha just kidding, sort of). It’s because I’m about to make fun of all you imbeciles who happen to involve yourselves in the making of such lists. Just so I can get this off my chest now, “YOU ALL ARE INCREDIBLY STUPID.” There, I said it. Why you people think that’s a good way to find your soul mate I will never know.

            Girls, you sit there and say, “He has to have dark brown hair, green eyes with little flecks of gold in them, muscled arms but, not too muscled because I don’t like it when guys look like body builders, etc., *overly detailed word vomit about men*.”

            Boys, don’t think this rant is just about ladies either. You all say equally stupid attributes, “Ayeee mah girl need to have a nice booty, a nice rack, and hold me down like none of those other bitches did.”

            Obviously these two examples are generalizations and there are MANY other stereotypes I could have discussed but these came to mind first so don’t get offended yet.

            Anyways back to what I was saying. Finding your soul mate is not all about looks, BUT obviously there needs to be some sort of attraction. When I say it’s not all about looks I mean you can’t have a checklist of insurmountable physical qualities your partner must have.

            I’m sure you all have a type right? I’m going to use myself as an example, I’m normally attracted to men of color BUT that doesn’t mean I would never go for a white guy. Yes I have a type that I normally find very attractive but if I find a guy who is hilarious and I click with I’m not going to say, “oh no, I can’t date you because you’re not a tall black guy.”

            If you’re being honest with yourself there are plenty of other qualities that you find attractive. (I’m going to keep using myself as an example because it’s much easier to share my own perspective then track down someone else and ask them questions). For me I don’t just find tall black guys attractive. I think it is incredibly sexy to meet a man who knows what he wants and is on the path to accomplish that, I think it’s hot when a guy is funny and a little self-deprecating, I think it’s attractive when a man respects his woman and treats her as his equal. These are qualities I not only appreciate but, would to some extent require in my partner. Notice that none of these qualities have to do with how he would look physically.

            Because I do not require my boyfriend to be of darker complexion, I do not require him to look a certain way, what I require is that he treats me with respect.

            People, finding your soul mate shouldn’t be an application process. Don’t go over your mental checklist every time you see someone and cross him off when he doesn’t meet one of your crazy “must-have attributes.” Hang out with him, get to know him (or, her) that’s what dating is for. You don’t have to know if he or, she is the one from the start. Chill out for a second, don’t Facebook stalk the crap out of them go on a couple of dates and figure out how you’re feeling then make a decision.

            So hopefully in the next coming weeks, if you actually have plans for Valentines Day (and this doesn’t include going on a date with your best friends like I will be doing) have fun, don’t take it too seriously, although if you’ve been dating for awhile then just ignore this part please do take it seriously because I don’t want to be responsible for a long-term couple’s breakup.

Happy (early) Valentine’s Day!

                                    -Leah Q.